Preparation H

There is a show on the A&E network called “Sell This House.” The idea here is that your house has been on the market for a while, and merciful God, you don’t know why. You call the “Sell This House” crew, and they come in and “redesign and restage your home so that you can finally get it sold.”

Here’s how this works. First they rig the place with hidden cameras and hold an open house so that we hear potential buyers piss on your home, your possessions and your shitty taste in decorating. Second, the designer and crew whisk in to… ummm… paint, remove nearly all of the furniture and install “up-lights.” That’s followed by another open house (with hidden cameras etc…) where we get to hear the gushing over the tremendous improvements they’ve made.*

My problem is with this last step. You know who comes to the second open house? The same damn people from the first open house!? What’s the point? Of course folks are going to think it’s filet mignon – Four days ago you fed them a breaded dog turd on a stick! Wouldn’t it make the whole process more legitimate if they brought in completely different open house visitors the second time around?

And I ran 3 miles Tues, 6 yesterday, 3 miles this afternoon.

* btw, if you close your eyes and listen to the comments during the final open house, it always sounds like dialogue taken from a porno. You can do this exercise with ANY episode. Try it and see. Here are the final comments from a random episode. You be the judge.

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