Preparation H

Just found this draft that I started last week and never finished. Updated entry to come.

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I have to admit I didn’t eat well on vacation last week.   Is a blueberry muffin considered a serving of fruit?

Good news for my fellow lactose-intolerant-walking-dead; Cabot Cheddar cheese contains no lactose! What’s that? Is that the sound of my brittle bones getting a much needed calcium spray-coat?

Chris made his 6th appearance as master chef for the week. Once again the meat was grilled to perfection, the jambalaya was spicey and it rained fakin’ bacon.

Is fakin’ bacon considered a serving of vegetables? Maybe I wasn’t so bad after all.

Did the midweek run on the mean streets county roads of Craftsbury. Got a little bit outside of the town proper and saw a farm midway up a hill, just up the road. Farmhouse and barn on the right of the road, pasture with cows grazing on the left side. These cows were all grazing in a group at the bottom of the hill near the road and when I got close, they all stopped to look at me. As I passed I said hello with the obligatory, “Moooooooooooooooooo.”

All the cows slowly began following and then running with me up the hill. In fact their pace got so fast that I thought for a minute they might break through the flimsy fence at the top of the hill. Luckily they didn’t.

Let me tell you the feeling of power and responsibility that comes when you finally achieve cow-control.

[whispery voice] “Help… me…” [/whispery voice]