Preparation H

I’m rereading this post before I press ‘publish.’ Jeeze. This kid has an awfully hard life! It’s not that bad, but it is a little on the syrupy side. I’m aware. Just warning you.

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Sue asked for insight. The truth is that I’m not sure I can give you much. Here’s what I can tell you. I did something I shouldn’t have done. From this training experience, I wanted nothing less than transformation.

Looking back, that’s a tall, tall order. The thing that weighs most on my mind these days is the fact that I’m in the midst of trying a career shakeup. For better or worse, it’s got to happen. It’s uncomfortable, it’s uncertain. On any given day I feel not smart enough, not educated enough, too old, too inexperienced. That certainty of knowing where the run begins and where it ends? I want that kind of certainty during this change. But that’s silly because the word ‘different’ is in every definition of the word ‘change.’ No one can be familiar or certain with something that’s different, can they?

But now that I think of it, after a while you do eventually get your transformation. ‘Different’ softens into ‘familiar’, ‘uncertain’ can resolve into ‘old-hat.’

Along those same lines, here’s something else. Tearing yourself down physically won’t tear down barriers you’ve built in your mind (self-loathing, depression etc…). It can make you feel better, but to attain total health, there’s work to be done elsewhere. That takes more time than any four hour race.

Goddamn! They should give me a goddamn talk show, goddammit! That’s some Dr. Phil shit right up there! In fact, how about a picture to mark this occasion?

All right, enough mirror gazing. [paul lynde voice] Let’s get happy, people! [end paul lynde voice]

Here is some loose change:

1) I’ve never experienced a ‘runner’s high.’
2) My 4 hours of NYC Marathon running went by in a flash.
3) While flipping my hat around on the Central Park West stretch, a woman in the crowd shouted, “Hey Kevin! Let’s see the hair!” (or something to that effect).
4) Just after the finish line, I checked my pocket and realized that I actually had an extra Gu packet. Freakin’ hell!!
5) I could run a marathon every weekend, I’d still have spindly chicken legs.
6) Dominic would have thought I was a fucking idiot for running 4 hours straight.

As for running, I told Lara that I can’t imagine doing these long runs (10+ miles) without having something to shoot for. I will keep running to keep in shape, and when the next race comes along, I’ll start another training schedule. Not sure when that will be. Gonna lay low for the winter months, keep in shape with some short runs and look for something in the spring. Buffalo is at the end of May. I’d like to do that in some capacity: marathon, half, relay (hint, hint)? I’d love to try the Lake Placid Marathon.

And you? Why I think I’ll miss you most of all, loyal Prep H reader. Thanks for the comments, the encouragement and the kick in the ass when I needed it (although the death threats were uncalled for, Chris). I’ve always said that this blog is 10% running, 90% horsing around. I’m going to stick to that plan for the future. Not sure how often I’ll write, but if you’d like to be notified of updates you can subscribe at the link on the top of the homepage. Enter your email address and you’re all set.

And hey, if you get tired of the endless foul-mouthed-Grandma jokes or the graphic foot injury photos, you can unsubscribe at that link too.

Before I turn the page here, I have to acknowledge one more person. Lara is my most ardent supporter, always there with encouragement, understanding and a truckload of patience. I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish this without her. I owe her everything. I love you, dear. Happy birthday.