cheers & jeers

While we wait for those devastatingly funny race reports, I thought I might vent a bit. It’s time for PrepHo Cheers & Jeers™.

First up, cheers! to the good people at St. Ives, makers of St. Ives Apricot Facial Scrub. It makes your face feel pirdy! Check it out!
Yeah, that’s right, I like facial scrubs now.

You know what? While I’m at it, I’ll send out a bonus cheers!
Cheers! to the folks at Colgate, makers of Ultra Brite toothpaste and creepy toothpaste commercials.

See how shitty the world is when you have shitty teeth? Look how dejected Nurse Jackie is at being blown-off by Doctor Phil. Damn.

And I’ve always wondered what they mean when they say “The rest is… semi-private.” They’re intimating some kind of physical contact. Does that mean it was Skinemax-type involvement? I’m guessing so or else the copy would have read, “The rest is something you’d find in the back room of your local video store.”

Holy crap! Did you know they still make Ultra Brite toothpaste? If that’s true, I’ll bet my Mom uses it. My Mom is also big on buying from QVC. She’s the only person in America buying from QVC and using Ultra Brite.

Moving on, a big fat Jeers! to Kashi and their Peanut Peanut Butter Chewy Granola Bars. You know why? Because they’re filled with pubes, that’s why. I was enjoying a bar recently, got near the very end and found a nicely trimmed blonde hair baked into the center.
Shame on you, Kashi!

btw, I don’t think Kashi is alone in fortifying their food with genital hair. I have hard-drives full of pictures of food pubes. Lar thinks I’m crazy. I think she’s just not chewing thoroughly.

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